


You Look Like Buddy Holly

by badjujuboo (miztrezboo)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Facials, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 06:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2338217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miztrezboo/pseuds/badjujuboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's stupid to let himself be used like this but, he's only human and Ashton is here and he hasn't been like this - as needy as this - in so long. Hasn't wanted Calum around to make him feel better, because that's what it all boils down to. Ashton knows and even if they both try and ignore it, if Calum does his best to push his feelings down deep where they won't bother the band or anyone. They're still there. And Ashton <i>knows</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Look Like Buddy Holly

**Author's Note:**

> idek where this came from. only that iHeart radio happened and Ashton had those GLASSES and Calum looked adorable and soft with his fringe and. yeah. not beta'd because i should be asleep. i work in 5 hours. no bueno.
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> [image reference here](http://adorescalumh.tumblr.com/post/98025915414)
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> warning type notes at the end

Ash is laughing when Calum finds him. He's curled around his phone, standing at the bar where they can't drink because America has ridiculous age laws. Calum wraps himself over Ash's back, hooks his chin over Ash's shoulder. 

"What's that?" he asks, Ashton already typing out some reply that Calum can't really read. Can't focus on because they may have pregamed a _little_ too hard before heading out tonight. It's the only way they _can_ drink if they're out. Especially here in Vegas. No one wants to be the band member that ends up in jail and have a possibility of never being allowed back in the country again.

Ashton leans back, letting Calum fit more snugly against him as he scrolls back up and clicks on an image. "Fucking Niall met Fiddy, how mad is that?" 

"Defo," Calum chuckles into Ashton's shoulder. His hand curving around Ashton's hip, thumb sliding just underneath the hem of his shirt meeting warm skin below. "You gonna stick around for a bit? Mikey's gone back to the hotel and I think Luke went with him." 

Ash nods and leans his head against Calum's. He fiddles with those ridiculous black frames he's wearing today. The ones that kind of make you focus on Ashton's eyes. Not that Calum's done that. Not when they were in the car on the way over and Ashton was talking about what band they might see tonight. Not for one second was he lost in those hazel hues. Not at all.

Before Calum can ask if Ash wants to bugger off out of here and head out to catch some more of the bands inside, Ash's phone lights up in his hand. Calum can see Gemma's face smooshed against the side of Ash's. He remembers when he first saw that photo three days after they hadn't been able to reach Ashton at all. Three days of Ashton being all loved up and loved in with Harry Styles' big sister. Three days of Calum nursing a broken heart he never really admitted to himself that he'd given away in the first place. 

They didn't last. Ashton was away too much, and Gemma'd seen what being with someone who was on the road and never in one place for long, could do to a relationship. Ashton said he was fine, knew it was what he was getting himself into, but Calum knew better. Calum saw how he was the week after it all ended. He saw how loud Ash became to cover up the hurt. He also knew the weight of Ash in his bed when being on his own became too much and he just needed someone to share a space with. To find some warmth when they were so far from home, and he just needed someone to hold him together while he fell apart.

Calum never said anything about it. Ashton didn't either.

He's not about to say anything now. Not now when he knows that Ashton's been spending a lot of time with Gemma while she's been around on tour. Not now, when he can see that certain little smile light up Ashton's face.

He takes a shaky breath in and steps back, turning to lean against the bar and take in the crowd around them. It's stupid that he's allowed himself to feel anything more than friendship for Ash. It's not as if Ashton isn't an option - of sorts - Calum knows he's got off with boys as well as girls back home. Even a few on tour, and that one guy when they were holed up in the UK last year. The one that Mikey put him on to through a friend of Harry's or something along those lines. That was another thing they never spoke of. Harry and Michael and anything that did or didn't go on there once upon a time. 

The old "what happens on tour stays on tour" rule tended to apply.

"That was Gems, you wanna come with? She's watching Weezer. Think Lotte and Niall will be there, too," Ashton doesn't even look up from his phone when he asks. Calum tries not to take it personally. 

He fails.

He doesn't have time to answer anyway. Between one breath and the next, Ashton's clapping a hand to Calum's shoulder and saying "Don't wait up," before heading into the crowd. 

Calum watches as Ashton disappears, slips in and out of a hive of people stopping now and then to wave or take photos with girls who look like they'd be more at home pool side than at this A list party right now. Slips of material acting as dresses never were something Calum took an interest in before, and definitely not now. He finds a few people from the label that he knows, and ends up chatting to someone who's face he recognises but his name slips him entirely. He drinks a few more Cokes and disappears back to their hotel room just after one. 

He doesn't check his phone for messages because he knows Ashton will have sent him something. Some Snapchat of the band he's watching or a fucking selfie. Worse, a selfie he's taken _with_ Gem. 

**-||||-**

 

He's just started to fall asleep when he hears it. 

He knows who it is before he even gets up. He reaches out a hand anyway, flicking the bedside lamp on, blinking himself into something a bit more like consciousness. Calum rolls out of bed in nothing but the black jocks with glow in the dark skeletons on them that he thinks Mikey bought him as a joke. Thing is, he's not done any washing in a bit so. . . they kind of came in handy. He yawns as he stumbles toward the door, tripping over his shoes that he left somewhere between grabbing a water from the mini bar and heading for his bed. 

There's another knock at the door followed by his name being called out in the most long, drawn out, _annoying_ way possible. He curses under his breath, running a hand through his hair, the idea of begging Lou to cut it a bit more so it stops being so fluffy passing through his mind as he does so.

"Ash, you know you have your own room, right? We don't share anymore," Calum says, failing to sound as out of sorts as he feels being woken up at whatever time this is. He opens the door, stumbling back a bit as Ashton near falls on top of him as he does so.

Ashton smells a bit like booze and a lot like girl as he collapses against Calum's chest. His grip is tight on Calum's shoulders as his lips meet Calum's neck, a muffled laugh that vibrates right down to Calum's bones. He takes a deep breath before shuffling them back far enough to get the door closed, the moment he does, Ashton's pushing him back against the wall, his body slamming up against Calum's own.

"Cal, Calum. Cal-um," he chuckles, mouth sliding down Calum's skin. Ashton's teeth grazing down the slope of his neck, nipping hard at his collarbone. Calum shivers with it, but tries to keep still. Ashton's obviously come here for a reason and he's obviously had a few which is probably why he's here now.

Calum gets his hands on Ashton's waist, his jeans having slipped enough that Calum's hands are mostly on the elastic band holding his jocks up and the soft jersey of his shirt. "Mate, how drunk are you?" he asks with a piss poor attempt at a laugh. It sounds sort of sad at best.

He's tired and he went to bed wanting things that he shouldn't and now the one person he's resigned himself not to think about is here. Ashton's here and he's still in those stupid glasses with his stupid wavy hair all soft over his forehead as he stops biting at Calum's chest long enough to look up. 

Ashton licks his lips as they curve into a smile. "Maybe a little," he whispers, fingertips tip tapping over Calum's sides. "Maybe a lot."

"Ash," Calum starts, but fails to get anything else out as Ashton's mouth covers his own in a kiss that gets deep and dirty fast. His hands are _everywhere_ on Calum's body and for a tiny second he wishes he had of kept his shirt on. Was wearing every article of clothing he _owned_ so he had some sort of armour to keep Ashton out.

As it is, he's endlessly glad he's left in his pants, purely because he's never been able to sleep anywhere that isn't home without them on. 

He kisses Ashton back because he's stupid and in love with someone he can't have and if Ashton's drunk, he probably won't remember come morning. A bit of a pash between mates can't be too bad. It's how he learned to kiss back in high school. Well, how he practiced anyway. Ashton's tongue is a filthy slick glide against his own as their kiss gets deeper, Calum gripping Ashton's hips hard as he rocks his body against Calum's own. _Fuck,_ Ashton's jeans are rough against Calum's thighs as Ash fits his knee between them, bringing them closer still. It has Calum's cock taking interest fast, what with Ashton's fingers a tight grip in Calum's hair, pulling so close to the scalp it's near painful. It's just shy of that though, what with Ashton's mouth on his and Ashton near pushing Cal to ride his thigh with how he's shifting his hips against Cal's own. 

It's so wrong. So wrong to be taking advantage of Ash like this, not when he can guess that he's not the one Ashton truly wants. He can _smell_ her on Ash's clothes. He can even imagine he can taste her on Ashton's tongue as it moves deftly against his own. He's stupid to let himself be used like this but, fuck, he's only human and Ashton is here and he hasn't been like this - as needy as this - in so long. Hasn't wanted Calum around to make him feel better, because that's what it all boils down to. Ashton knows and even if they both try and ignore it, if Calum does his best to push his feelings down deep where they won't bother the band or anyone. They're still there. And Ashton _knows_.

Calum sucks in a harsh breath through his nose as Ashton's teeth graze over one nipple, his fingertips circling the other with intent. Fucking hell, he should have just stayed in bed. Drunk and handsy Ashton is one thing. Drunk, handsy and _horny_ Ashton is another completely. Especially if he's been shut down by a girl. Especially _this_ girl. 

"Mate," he tries, as his hands drag Ashton's shirt up as Ashton slides down Calum's body, his blunt fingernails scratching over Calum's skin, leaving burning trails in their wake. This can only be heading one way and he should stop it now but Ashton's making this frustrated whining sound as he gets stuck. The black material getting bunched up under his arms so he'll have to release his hold on Cal to get the thing off. 

He does - reluctantly - laughing as he ends up flailing a bit on his haunches as Calum pulls the thing off. The glasses get all skewed on his face, one arm being caught up in his hair at one side and Cal can't help but join in with a dumb grin of his own at how ridiculous Ashton looks. It doesn't last long though. Not when he goes to take them off and Calum stops him with a soft but sure, "No." 

Ashton looks up at him, chest heaving a little as he tilts his head to the side. "No?"

Calum shrugs, feeling almost embarrassed by how much he wants Ashton to keep the things on. It's just. . . he looks all soft and adorable like this. Even with his cheeks stained red and the flush heading down his chest that Calum can make out with the lamp giving the only light in the room. 

Ash straightens them up, licking over his lips as he shuffles in between Calum's still spread legs. He keeps staring up at Calum as his hands slide up slow over Calum's legs, his thumbs grazing over the inside of Cal's knees which has him flinching a bit.

"Fucker, you know I'm ticklish there," Cal spits out, biting at his lip as Ashton continues his sweep over Calum's thighs. 

"I know," Ashton says, waggling his brows which looks even more ridiculous with him just in his fucking jeans and no shirt. He's barefoot, too, which Calum only just notices. For a second, he wonders where Ash's shoes might have got to but that disappears from mind as Ashton slides his hand inside the front of Cal's undies, pulling out his half hard cock. He's never been entirely sure why anyone would want a little flap there, apart from making pissing a bit easier if your in a rush maybe, but he definitely appreciates it now.

"Ash," he starts biting off the rest of Ashton's name with a moan as Ashton shows no hesitation in getting his mouth on Cal's cock. 

Calum's fists thump the wall beside him as Ashton just takes him down, pausing only for a second as Calum's hips buck forward from the feel alone. Ashton pulls back with a wet sound, gives Cal this pointed look as throws an arm over Calum's waist, pinning him a little to the wall. Calum nods and blinks, thinking maybe if he does the scene in front of him will change but it doesn't. It doesn't as Ashton just steadies himself, taking a quick breath through his nose, nostrils flaring before sucking Calum down again. 

It feels so fucking good, so good as Ashton's tongue is a heavy press to the thick vein on the underside of Cal's cock. His mouth is this perfect warmth and wet that only gets better the further Ashton takes him down. He chokes a bit as the tip of Cal's dick hits the back of this throat, this tight press that is gone as quick as it occurred. As much as Calum knows Ashton has done this before - maybe not anything more than this - but definitely sucked a cock before, he knows for sure he hasn't done it often. 

In the whole time he was sharing a bed with Cal after the whole Gemma fiasco, he only went down on Calum twice for how often Calum returned the favour. Mostly they'd just rubbed off against each other or that one time, Calum had opened his legs a little when he'd woken up with Ash's morning wood pressing into his back and let Ashton fuck his thighs until they were nearly raw. They'd both ended up a mess and Calum had to wear his bloody trackies to the studio for nearly a week until the chaffing had gone down. 

So this means something, having Ashton here on his knees and looking as eager to please as he does right now. It's a look Cal hasn't been on the receiving end in quite a while so as much as he wants to close his eyes, focus on _anything_ that won't having him coming too fast, he can't help but keep them open, gazing down at how serious a job Ashton is taking this. 

"Fuck, Ash. Fuck, that's so good," he groans. Ashton pulls back enough so he can work his tongue over the tip, flick it a little at the slit collecting more of the precome Cal knows is oozing out by now. 

It's so fucking hot to watch, and his skin is near vibrating all over with how hot Ashton's got him so fast. He thumps the wall again with his head and his fists as Ashton takes him down deep. His free hand slides between Calum's legs, cupping and squeezing at his balls over the thin cotton there. It has Calum cursing because he likes that, and Ashton _knows_ that he does and he sort of wishes Ash made the time to pull his jocks off, not just slip his cock out of that front hole. Then Ash hums something around his shaft and the thought is forgotten as fast as it came.

Ashton just looks so pretty like this. Those big lips of his, that loud mouth quietened by Cal's cock sliding in and out, the heated red of his skin glistening with his own precome and Ashton's spit. It's so fucking hot, and he's so turned on, it won't be long and he'll be coming. He can already feel the beginings of it stirring low in his gut, this tiny tug at the base of his spine that will have him strung out like a bow soon enough. Faster still if Ashton keeps staring up at him like he is, those hazel eyes of his focused solely on Cal and his reactions. 

For every sound Cal makes, it's as if Ashton's cataloguing them all. Repeating the shift of tongue that has Cal whimpering, pressing his thumb into the hollow beneath Cal's hipbone when it makes Cal curse above. Then there's how he swirls his tongue over the tip, sweeping it back and forth in ways that have no words leaving Cal's mouth at all. They're stuck in his throat only coming out as these choked off moans that Cal swears Ashton smiles around his cock everytime he manages to get Cal making that certain wrecked sound. 

He has to do something, has to hold on to something as he gets even closer. His hand shakes as he slides his fingers into Calum's hair, feathers the sweat soaked ends between his fingertips and bites his lip as Ashton's cheeks hollow and fill out as his head bobs up and down. He's so fucking pretty and it makes Cal's heart _ache_ that he wants this to be more. He wants more than just a fucking blowjob when Ashton's feeling up for it. He wants more than to comfort Ashton in his bed when it's Ashton that's feeling low. He wants to do stupid things like hold his hand and kiss him around the other boys. He wants to bring him home and show his mum and his sister that he's okay now, when he's jetting off around the world. Because he's not alone. He _has_ someone that means more.

He wants all these things even though he knows he can't have them. 

It's not something he knows Ashton will willingly give. Not now. Maybe if the band hadn't got so big. Maybe if they had of fizzled out like most high school garage bands do. Maybe if they had of just got jobs in the city and gone to Uni like everyone else they know back home did. Maybe if their lives were different. But they're not. They're not.

Calum knows this. He does.

Doesn't stop him wishing things were different.

Especially not now, with Ashton on his knees looking up at Cal like he'd give him the world if Calum asked.

Calum tightens his hands in Ash's hair, brings him down further on his cock and takes the tiniest bit of satisfaction at how Ash chokes a bit. One of his brows raises a tiny bit above the black rim of the glasses and Calum loosens his grip a little. He can't be mean to Ash. He can't do anything that bad to someone he loves.

It doesn't stop Ashton in any way shape or form, if anything, it redoubles his efforts and a few good bobs of his head later and Calum's teetering on the edge. He chokes out Ashton's name, catching Ashton's eye as he pulls off and there's this string of spit and whatever glistening between his mouth and the tip of Cal's cock.

"I'm gonna come, Ash. You're. . . you might wanna," 

Ashton licks his lips and coughs a bit before he answers. "Come on my face, yeah? Wanna feel it. Wanna feel you fall apart,"

"Oh fuck," Calum curses as Ashton wraps a hand around his cock, starts stripping him off at the head quick and fast. 

Calum's fists meet the wall again, clenching and releasing around nothing as his heart skips a few beats, watching with eyes as wide as he can hold them as he comes. It's like his whole body fizzles with lightning as he shoots thick and white over Ashton's lips, his cheek and a splodge getting most of the hair near his ear. Another stripe lands right over the left side of his glasses which makes him huff out this laugh. He doesn't have time to do anything but shiver against the wall as Ashton keeps looking at him, falling back on his bum in an effort to get a hand in his pants. Calum would offer to help but he's too shattered to do anything more than attempt keeping upright and breathing right now. Ashton possilby sucking his brains out with how all he can do is watch as finally, with a muttered, "stupid fucking skinny jeans fucking cockblocking cunts," before he finally gets his dick out.

It's not even like Cal can get a good look at it, Ashton's hand working himself over fast for two, three strokes and then he's coming, making a mess of himself over his chest. When he lays back, panting, Calum is sure he can see some pooling in his bellybutton. They both stay in position, getting their breath back. Calum moves before it can get awkward, doesn't want it to, as he heads to the little bathroom grabbing the lone face washer and wetting it to clean himself off. He's not sure Ash would appreciate a come covered cloth to wipe himself over with, so he grabs the handtowel and wets that, too. Ashton did seem to come a lot more than he did, probably needs a bit extra to get it all off. 

When he comes back out, calling Ash's name soft, it's a good thing he does. 

"You little fucker," Calum says, leaning down to wipe his now sleeping bandmate off. Ashton murmurs something as he does, but it's nothing really like any particular word. 

Of course Ashton would fall asleep after this. He's not as good as Mikey at passing out for a quick kip wherever, but it has been known to happen to Ash before. Calum's seen it himself when they spent a whole Sunday in bed when Luke and Mikey had gone out in London and somehow Calum and Ash managed to sneak a day alone at their makeshift home. 

He probably shouldn't feel as relieved as he does, with Ashton passed out cold on the floor and Calum free to slip back into his own bed. He does though. At least now there's no awkward wakeup snuggling like there has been before. At least now, if Ashton wants to wake up with a hangover and pretend that nothing happened, Calum can act like he just let Ashton in and it was all Ashton's fault he slept on the floor. 

At least now, he can hate himself a little for letting it happen at all, here, curled up in his bed all alone.

-||||-

When he wakes up in the morning. Ashton is gone. The only evidence that anything _did_ go on the night before, being two wet and stained looking white towels on the floor in the bathroom.

Calum can cope with that. After all, he has done before.

**Author's Note:**

> warning for drunk consent being an issue... i don't think it really is one, I think come morning they'll both know exactly what and why it went on. but.. it could be an issue so there it is.
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> Thanks for reading!


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